How Therapy Helps Manage Jealousy and Envy in Relationships

Trying to navigate different emotions in your relationship can feel like walking in a minefield. Most of these emotions are deemed positive, such as affection and happiness, which you can discuss with others easily. 

But what do you do when your feelings are seen as inherently wrong?

Jealousy and envy are common in relationships but can be harder to discuss with your partner. Yet, not acknowledging these emotions can lead to frustration, and disappointment and affect your mental health. 

Besides seeking professional support and couples therapy, it is also important to understand these emotions and learn how to manage them.

Also read: How Will Therapy and Psychiatry Benefit Me?

Understanding the difference between jealousy and envy

Although used interchangeably, jealousy and envy are different emotions. Jealousy refers to fear or anger that your relationship is threatened by someone else or that someone may try to take what's 'yours'. It is a natural reaction to a perceived threat. Jealousy isn't inherently harmful—in the right amount, it can even be reassuring in a relationship.

Conversely, envy refers to wanting what another person has or viewing their achievements as your loss. It can lead to resentment of the other person for being on the receiving end of the good and a feeling that they have not done anything special to deserve it. While jealousy can sometimes be rational, this is rarely true for envy. 

Jealousy in relationships is widely talked about, but envy is often ignored. These emotions are natural and can even be healthy in some cases. But when they start affecting your mental health, it is time to seek help. With online couples counselling, seeking help and building a better connection with your partner is much easier. 

Also read: How to Communicate When You Are Angry

Can therapy help with jealousy and envy in relationships?

Since jealousy and envy are considered negative emotions, partners often hesitate to discuss them. But, if unchecked, these feelings can damage an otherwise loving relationship. 

With professional support, managing these emotions is made easier. Wondering how therapy can improve your relationship beyond couples therapy? We've got some expert-recommended tips.

Learn how to communicate with your partner

No matter the issue, it is always important to communicate with your partner, and with couples therapy, you can improve your communication skills. 

Acknowledging your feelings can be challenging, but it helps your partner understand you better. While you may feel it is best to work on these emotions by yourself, letting your partner in on your struggles can help you build a stronger relationship.

Learn to think before you act

Acting on your emotions can feel natural, but jealousy and envy don't always lead to rational responses. When dealing with jealousy or envy, it is crucial to acknowledge your feelings while keeping your behaviour in check. Rather than acting impulsively, make sure that you communicate your feelings with your partner and work on ways to resolve them.

Couples counselling not only helps you convey your emotions to your partner rationally but also helps you learn ways to control them.

Learn to be patient

Whether you or your partner are feeling these emotions, patience is key. Changing behaviours doesn't happen overnight, even when seeking professional support like online couples therapy. Working on these emotions takes time; hence, supporting your and your partner's efforts is crucial.

Couples therapy helps you be patient with your partner as you understand their emotions and actions.

Know when to seek individual therapy

Couples therapy can help you understand that therapy can help everyone. It is a gateway to understanding when you need support, especially if you want to understand yourself better. Seeking online therapy can help you know where your emotions stem from, especially if jealousy and envy are a pattern in all your relationships. 

Often, these feelings arise from low self-esteem or, in some cases, narcissistic tendencies. With professional support, you can not only work on understanding yourself but also on improving your relationship.

Also read: Does Your Relationship Have Emotional Intimacy?

Relationships take effort, but sometimes working on your issues alone is not the answer. Acknowledging negative emotions can feel uncomfortable, but it is the only way to overcome them. If jealousy and envy affect your mental health and damage your relationship, it is time to seek professional help. 

Services such as online couples therapy have made it easier to seek help from the comfort of your home. Therapy helps you understand that while controlling your emotions is not easy, it is possible to control your actions.

Sources:

1. Mandriota, M. (2022, March 3). 6 Healthy Ways to Deal with Jealousy. Psych Central. https://psychcentral.com/health/healthy-ways-to-deal-with-jealousy

2. Brogaard, B. B. (2021, January). How to Manage Envy and Jealousy in Your Relationships. https://www.psychologytoday.com. Retrieved January 30, 2023, from https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-mysteries-love/202101/how-manage-envy-and-jealousy-in-your-relationships

3. Sylvester, A. (2021, November 16). How to manage envy in a relationship. Reader’s Digest. https://www.readersdigest.co.uk/lifestyle/dating-relationships/how-to-manage-envy-in-a-relationship