The Role of Your Partner in Baby Blues

Becoming parents to a newborn child can be an exhilarating experience. To be able to bond with a small life that you created can feel magical. However, sometimes that might not always be the case, and that’s okay. As new parents, you might go through a roller coaster of emotions when the baby enters your world. No matter how much you try, nothing seems to prepare you for an event like this. 

While you celebrate bringing life into this world, this joy is often foreshadowed by baby blues. Baby blues are feelings of sadness typically new mothers experience for some time after the baby is born. Symptoms like feelings of sadness and anxiousness, crying for no reason, being grumpy or moody and not feeling like yourself are common during this time. 

After the baby is born, mothers are physically and emotionally exhausted. Baby blues result from a sudden fluctuation of hormones, along with the physical and emotional challenges that come along with childbirth. New mothers struggle with baby blues for about two weeks after the birth of their baby. During pregnancy and childbirth, estrogen and progesterone reach their peak and suddenly deplete. The body needs some time to adjust to this rapid flux of hormones causing ups and downs in emotions. 

Role of Your Partner in Coping with Baby Blues

Fortunately, there are ways to cope with these feelings and return to your usual self. In times like these, mothers look up to their partners for help and support. 

You can support your partner through baby blues with some simple efforts. Doing these will not only take the load off your wife but will also deepen your bond with the baby. 

1. Let her rest: Pregnancy and childbirth have a lasting impact on the body. Letting your partner rest as much as possible will ensure her body recovers faster. Help around with household chores and baby tasks as much as you can. 

2. Splitting responsibilities does not mean baby blues are gone: Symptoms of baby blues symptoms include feeling emotional, vulnerable, sad, feeling anxious about the baby, and not being able to sleep. Your partner needs you to be there for them. You can talk to them, support and soothe them through the lows with little acts of love. If the emotions are really strong, you can accompany them to a therapist to help them process their feelings.  

3. Reassure her: Mothers experiencing baby blues feel like they are not doing enough. Comfort and reassure her that she is doing a good job every step of the way. Practice affirmations and words of support with her. 

4. Know that it is completely normal to experience baby blues: Baby blues are completely normal and fade away after some time. So let her come back to her regular self at her own pace. 

5. Be the safe space: Be your partner's go-to person when they feel down. Discover ways through which they can process their emotions without feeling judged for them. If they want to talk about things, be patient and listen with empathy.

6. Self-care: A new mother's mental health is really important as it impacts the baby too. Taking care of them by encouraging simple acts of self-care can help in soothing new mothers. Make a cosy environment for them to self-soothe with activities they enjoy. This can include reading, spending some time reconnecting with old hobbies, practising mindfulness, etc. Indulging in self-care activities has been shown to positively impact mental health.  

How Baby Blues Affect Men

Men face baby blues too. Although it is not hormone induced or caused due to bodily changes, dealing with baby blues can be a challenging time for husbands too, as they now become the caretaker for both the baby and the mother. You can have feelings of anxiety about the sudden life changes. There is fear of losing intimacy with your partner as the baby will now be the mother's priority. There can even be feelings of inadequacy as, biologically, women are the baby's primary caregivers. You may also feel burdened due to the financial aspect of having a baby. 

These feelings are entirely valid and need not be ignored. Do not be afraid to ask for help. Reach out to your immediate circle and take their help. You can even try out couples therapy to cope with these feelings together. 

Baby blues can be intimidating but need not be scary. It is a normal condition that goes away after some time. However, if the symptoms persist even after that or worsen, it can be a sign of men postpartum depression. Seek the help of a mental health professional at the earliest if this happens.