How to Overcome the Need for Approval in Dependent Personality Disorder?

Personality disorders

Personality disorders are a group of mental disorders that significantly impair your thinking, perceiving reality, and behaving from others. They are further bifurcated as clusters as per the nature of the personality traits.

Cluster C is characterised by anxiety, where you may feel anxious and/or fearful all the time without any particular reason. Cluster C personality disorders include:

• Avoidant personality disorder

• Dependent personality disorder

• Obsessive-compulsive personality disorder

Before understanding Dependent Personality Disorder (DPD), keep in mind that all personality disorders have unique characteristics and present themselves differently in different people. To understand your experience better, consider having a discussion with your mental health practitioner. 

What is Dependent Personality Disorder (DPD)?

Dependent Personality Disorder (DPD) is a personality disorder characterised by an everlasting and excessive need to be taken care of. It can make you clingy to the people around you and constantly seek their approval to get anything done. This can make it difficult for you to make decisions on your own.

You may also rely on others to meet all your emotional and physical needs, and when these needs are not met, it can make you feel inadequate and worthless. Hence, you may tend to constantly rely on others for support and care and have very limited connection with yourself. 

It may feel difficult to affirm your choices and preferences, which could make you excessively seek others’ approval. You may be wary of taking initiative and standing up for yourself when something doesn’t feel right. In some cases, this can trigger mood disorders like anxiety and depression.

DPD can also lead you to continue being in abusive and unhealthy relationships, as you may not be able to differentiate the kind of treatment you are receiving. Remember that you are worthy of being treated with love and respect, regardless of your mental health condition.

Also read: How to Find the Right Therapist for Managing Personality Disorders

How to overcome the need for approval?

Identify the actions leading to seeking approval

While spotting the actions that make you seek approval may be challenging, it is also one of the most important steps. With the help of a trustful friend and/or family member, you can learn to be more aware of your actions caused by DPD. 

Having a mental health partner show you the pattern that serves your need for approval can also help. You can understand if it is being followed in any specific relationships to address it later on.

Cultivate a supportive environment

Asserting your needs and overcoming the need to seek approval from others can get difficult if practised in an environment that is not supportive or caring. When you’re surrounded by people who care for you and have the best intentions, you feel motivated to make better choices.

With the help of your friends and family and your mental health practitioner, you can be encouraged to make decisions on your own and believe in yourself while also getting the comfort and care you need.

Related: The role of family support in psychiatric treatment and recovery

Get comfortable spending time with yourself 

With DPD, it can be extremely difficult to want to spend time with yourself as you may not find it fruitful. However, spending time by yourself can help you get clarity on whom and how you want to divert your energy. You can take charge of deciding how you want to spend your time with the help of your therapist

You can learn to spend time with yourself by taking small steps like going grocery shopping alone, eating at a restaurant by yourself, or taking some time out to read or do a solo hobby. 

No step or effort you make to stand up for yourself and get comfortable in your company is insignificant.

Also read: The Significance of Self-Care for Individuals Living with a Personality Disorder

Bottom line

While the effects of DPD may be chronic, it is possible to live a happy, fulfilling life with the right support and care from your friends, family, and mental health professional. If you feel ready to talk about how you can navigate through this condition, book a call with our mental health coach.

Remember that it is a mark of great self-awareness to educate yourself and your loved ones about your mental health condition. No challenge or struggle because of a mental condition is impossible to work through if you’re willing to seek help for yourself.