How to Cope When a Loved One Struggles With Borderline Personality Disorder

Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) is a complex and challenging mental health condition that affects a person's relationships, emotions, and sense of self. 

To learn more about this condition, read Understanding and Managing Borderline Personality Disorder

When someone you love is struggling with BPD, it can be a difficult and emotional journey for both you and your loved one. However, there are ways to cope and support them through this challenging time:

Educate yourself about BPD 

First and foremost, it is important to educate yourself about BPD. Understanding the symptoms and behaviours associated with BPD can help you to better understand your loved one's experiences and respond in a way that is supportive and compassionate.

Maintain healthy boundaries 

It is also important to maintain healthy boundaries. People with BPD often have difficulty regulating their emotions, and this can result in intense and erratic behaviour. While it is important to be there for your loved one, it is also important to take care of yourself and not let their behaviour negatively affect your own mental health.

Be patient and non-judgmental 

People with BPD may struggle with self-worth and may feel like they are a burden on those around them. By being patient and understanding, you can help your loved one to feel valued and supported.

Manage triggers

It is important to be aware of the triggers that can exacerbate symptoms of BPD. These triggers can include stress, traumatic events, and relationship difficulties. By being aware of these triggers, you can help to anticipate and manage situations that may be particularly difficult for your loved one.

Encourage seeking treatment

It is also important to encourage your loved one to seek treatment. While BPD can be a challenging illness to treat, there are effective therapies available that can help. Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) is a common form of therapy that has been shown to be effective for individuals with BPD. Encouraging your loved one to seek help and providing support throughout the treatment process can help them to make progress and improve their quality of life.

To understand the benefits of therapy and psychiatry, read How Will Therapy and Psychiatry Benefit Me? 

Be supportive of their treatment journey 

You must be supportive of your loved one’s treatment journey. This can include being a source of encouragement, helping to make appointments, and providing transportation to therapy or other treatments. It is also important to be supportive of any medication changes or other treatment adjustments that may be recommended by your loved one’s healthcare provider.

Communicate effectively 

People with BPD often have difficulty regulating their emotions and this can lead to intense and erratic behaviour. It is important to communicate in a way that is clear, direct, and non-judgmental. This can help to minimise misunderstandings and conflicts and promote a positive and supportive relationship.

Be an active listener 

People with BPD may struggle with intense emotions, and it can be helpful for them to have someone to talk to who will listen and validate their feelings. By being an active listener, you can help your loved one to feel heard and understood.

Practise self-care 

Finally, it is important to be proactive in taking care of your own mental health. Caring for a loved one with BPD can be emotionally and mentally draining, and it is important to take care of yourself and prioritise self-care. This can include things like taking breaks, engaging in activities that bring you joy, and seeking support from friends and family.

When a loved one struggles with BPD, it can be a difficult and emotional journey. You can provide support and help your loved one to manage their symptoms and improve their quality of life. Remember, it is important to be patient, understanding, and compassionate, and to always prioritise self-care.

If you or a loved one is struggling with BPD, it is important to seek help. With the right support and treatment, it is possible to manage symptoms and lead a fulfilling life. We encourage you to consult a therapist or a psychiatrist for support.