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Adult ADHD
Published on
10th Jan 2023
It can be hard enough to manage ADHD symptoms during everyday tasks like school or work, but when it comes to socialising, things can get really complicated. It presents a lot of challenges in daily life—such as difficulty following directions, listening attentively, interrupting without intending to, and so on. This can make public interactions quite a challenge for people living with ADHD.
If you are someone who deals with ADHD as an adult, these challenges may not be a big surprise. You might have been wondering about the reasons for these challenges. People with ADHD often have trouble with focus and executive function. This means they may have a harder time staying on task, juggling multiple conversations, and remembering details.
This can lead to a lot of misunderstandings and missed opportunities in social situations—but with the right help, it is possible to overcome these hurdles.
The trouble with listening or tuning in to conversations can be specifically challenging. You might find yourself drifting off while a close friend is talking to you about something important. The same thing might happen when someone is giving you instructions. ADHD affects your ability to devote enough brain resources to pay attention to such conversations.
Another major difficulty is the tendency to impulsively interrupt someone while they're talking. You might be talking to your friend or co-worker, and suddenly you might have something to say, and you interrupt the conversation. You might not do this on purpose—but rather, it is the result of the condition messing with your ability to control your responses. Others might not take well to this and might even think that you are rude even though you do not intend to be.
Forgetfulness is also another aspect of ADHD that might interfere with your ability to socialise. The condition makes it so that the brain is not able to prioritise information well, and you might forget bits of information. For instance, you might not remember someone’s name even though you were sure that you heard it. You might also have trouble reading social cues from other people.
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There are a few coping mechanisms that can help in social situations.
For one, it can be helpful to have a list of topics which are familiar and safe. This can help take the pressure off of both parties, and it can also help to avoid any awkward silences. Being mindful of topics you need to discuss can also help you prioritise and make sure that you do not get distracted in the middle of the conversation.
Try to slow down when you’re trying to talk to someone. It might not be easy, but with a little trial and error, it is possible. You can also try using active listening techniques, where you listen intently and try to repeat what you’ve heard to gain clarification. It also helps to make the other person feel heard and comfortable. Ask others questions about themselves, and try to engage with the conversation.
It can be helpful to practice socializing in safe situations, like with friends or family. That way, you can get comfortable with the settings and the people you're interacting with. And finally, it's critical to be patient with yourself. It takes time to learn how to navigate social situations when you have ADHD.
However, it is not all bad news. ADHD can also have positive impacts on socialisation. People with ADHD are often curious, energetic, and enthusiastic about a lot of things. This makes them very good conversationalists, as they can keep up with a wide variety of conversations. Remind yourself of your strengths while in a social situation. ADHD is not who you are, it is a condition that you live with, and thrive despite it.
If you're struggling to deal with ADHD in social situations, it's essential to seek professional help. A therapist can help you understand your diagnosis and develop coping mechanisms for dealing with ADHD in a way that it does not affect your daily life significantly.
Therapy can also help you learn how to manage your time, set goals and priorities, and make plans and stick to them. These skills are essential for managing ADHD. If you're not sure where to start, getting in touch with a therapist or psychiatrist who specialises in ADHD can be immensely helpful.
How is behavioural therapy used to treat ADHD?
A therapist can help you understand your ADHD and give you the tools you need to manage it in social situations.
ADHD can make it hard to read social cues, so a therapist can teach you how to read body language and other non-verbal cues. They can also help you practice conversation starters and giving genuine compliments. If you have trouble following conversations, your therapist can teach you active listening skills.
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Therapists can also help you identify your triggers and come up with a plan to manage them. For example, if you know you tend to zone out in group conversations, your therapist can help you come up with a signal to remind yourself to pay attention. Or if large groups make you anxious, your therapist can teach you relaxation techniques to use in those situations.
Seeking professional help is a big decision, but if ADHD is impacting your social life, it might be the best decision for you.
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