Borderline Personality Disorder and Relationships

Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) is characterised by unpredictable emotions, behaviour, and unstable interpersonal relationships. It can be a difficult condition to manage for those who have it as well as for their partners and family members. When it comes to maintaining healthy relationships, people with BPD may struggle with impulsive conduct, intense emotions, and a distorted sense of self.

People who have BPD may struggle to control their emotions and experience acute, quick mood changes. This makes it difficult for them to control their conduct, which can result in impulsive behaviour and intense, unstable relationships. They could have a hard time building relationships, trusting others, and connecting with others. Their actions could even be interpreted as manipulative, self-serving or controlling by others. 

To learn more about this condition, read Understanding and Managing Borderline Personality Disorder. 

In relationships, people with BPD may struggle with attachment issues, causing them to cling to their partners or fear abandonment. This can lead to intense jealousy, possessiveness, and a fear of rejection. They may also engage in dangerous or self-destructive behaviour, such as substance abuse or promiscuous sexual behaviour, in an attempt to avoid feelings of abandonment or rejection.

Partners of people with BPD may feel as though they must continually tread carefully in order to avoid setting off their loved one's intense feelings. Frustration, fatigue, and resentment may result from this. Couples may become confused as a result of their loved one's sudden and unpredictable mood swings.

How to manage these relationships? 

It's important for those in a relationship with someone with BPD to educate themselves on the condition and seek support from mental health professionals. Partners may need to work on setting clear boundaries and establishing open lines of communication to manage the relationship effectively. It's also crucial for the individual with BPD to receive appropriate treatment, such as therapy and medication, to manage their symptoms and improve their ability to maintain healthy relationships.

In therapy, individuals with BPD can work on developing healthy coping strategies and building a stronger sense of self-identity. They can also work on managing their emotions, improving their communication skills, and learning how to establish and maintain healthy relationships.

For understanding the benefits of therapy and psychiatry, read How Will Therapy and Psychiatry Benefit Me? 

While it can be challenging to be in a relationship with someone with BPD, it's important to remember that with the right support, individuals with BPD can improve their ability to maintain healthy relationships. Partners can work together to provide support and understanding, and the individual with BPD can receive the treatment they need to manage their symptoms and build a better life for themselves. 

In addition to therapy and medication, there are also several other strategies that can be helpful in managing relationships with someone with BPD. Here are a few:

Practice active listening: Encourage open communication by actively listening to their thoughts and feelings. This can help to foster a sense of trust and understanding in the relationship.

Avoid criticism and blaming: Try to avoid criticism and blaming, as this can lead to further emotional turmoil for the individual with BPD. Instead, focus on finding constructive solutions to problems.

Validate their feelings:  Let them know that their experiences are real and valid.

Manage triggers: People with BPD can have triggers that lead to intense emotional reactions. Work with them to identify and manage these triggers, and create a plan for managing them in a healthy way.

Practice self-care: It can be emotionally taxing to be in a relationship with someone with BPD. Make sure to take care of your own emotional and mental well-being, and seek support from friends, family, or a mental health professional if needed.

It's important to remember that everyone is unique and relationships are complex. People with BPD can lead fulfilling and happy lives, including having healthy relationships, with the right support and treatment. By working together, partners can create a better future for themselves and their relationship.

Borderline Personality Disorder can significantly impact relationships, but with proper support, education, and treatment, people with BPD can maintain healthy, stable relationships. 

If you or your loved is experiencing signs of BPD, we encourage you to seek help with a therapist or psychiatrist.