Anger Management for a Happier Life

Anger can be a healthy emotion, giving you an opportunity to address difficulties and resolve problems. However, if not appropriately managed well, its expression can lead to conflict. In the workplace, for example, aggression can have a negative impact on your relationships, reputation, and even performance. At home or with friends, aggression can deteriorate the quality of your relationships and contribute to a sense of loneliness. Suppressing or ignoring anger, while temporarily effective, it may not be a constructive strategy for managing anger in a healthy way.

There are several strategies for healthy anger management:

Take Responsibility for Your Anger

To be able to manage anger effectively, you first need to acknowledge feelings of anger when they arise. It is important to be aware of both, the situations that make you angry, as well as your typical reactions to such situations. You are also entirely responsible for your actions when you are angry. Maintaining a daily journal can help you identify such triggers and your anger responses.

Learn How to Relax

Relaxation exercises can not only help you control anger in certain situations, but also make it less likely that you will feel angry in the first place. Additionally, they are especially helpful when you can’t express your anger. Breathing deeply or repeating calming phrases to yourself, like “relax” or “be calm”, can help you manage your anger and feel in control. You could also try closing your eyes and thinking about an experience or memory where you felt calm and happy. Such techniques will allow you to manage your anger when you can’t express it.

Communicate

To be able to manage your anger in a healthy way, it is essential to communicate in a sensitive yet assertive manner to all those involved in a situation. Effective communication involves both listening to others and expressing yourself. Listening can not only help build trust, but also avoid misunderstandings and frustration. At the same time, asserting yourself by clearly, calmly, and sensitively expressing what you want can help avoid conflicts and reduce the likelihood of anger.

Address the Underlying Problem

Anger is mostly experienced in response to a situation where you feel wronged. One way to resolve anger is by addressing the situation or problem directly. Anger can motivate you to look for a solution, make a plan, and monitor progress towards the goal in question. If you discover that the situation cannot be resolved, you could explore alternative ways of handling it without displaying anger.

Use Humour

Anger can be diffused with the help of humour, either in a conversation with someone else or as part of your self-talk. Finding a hint of humour in situations with others reduces the intensity of anger and allows you to gain a more balanced perspective. Moreover, studies have shown that not taking yourself too seriously helps you feel better, less angry, and less stressed.

Think Positively

Anger is often the result of thinking about situations in negative ways. For example, thinking that a situation has no solution and is the absolute worst can lead you to feel angry and upset. At times when you feel angry, stop yourself to notice and pay attention to your thoughts. Try and see if your thoughts are realistic, logical, or helpful. Talk to yourself positively so you are able to keep your cool and tackle angry thoughts. Even a simple phrase like, “I can deal with this” or “I just have to remain calm” can greatly help you.

Take Another’s Perspective

Since anger is the result of the way you view a particular situation, it is important to put yourself in another’s place and try to appreciate and understand their view of the situation. This will allow you to distance yourself from the situation - thereby reducing the intensity of your anger. Understanding where the other person is coming from may also replace anger with another, more appropriate emotion.

Whilst you may not be able to avoid anger altogether, it is possible to manage it effectively. Understanding what makes you angry and practicing these simple anger management strategies can have a positive impact on your life.